Musings of the boss - Brought to you by Noecker Buick Pontiac .com -

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

"You've heard that before you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes? This is true. It's called living."

"Life is like a train. It's bearing down on you and guess what? It's going to hit you. So you can either start running when it's far off in the distance, or you can pull up a chair, crack open a beer, and just watch it come."

"The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul."

"Tunnel vision is a disease in which perception is restricted by ignorance and distorted by vested interest."

"The world is not a prison house, but a kind of kindergarten, where millions of bewildered infants are trying to spell God with the wrong blocks."

"If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?"

When in a confrontational situation, listen completely to the question, and don't answer without first repeating their question to their satisfaction.

John, this is truly profound. from now on, this is my creed. especially the
last line. thanks, Skip Edgley

I'm trying to be reading more and worrying less.
> >
I'm sitting in the yard and admiring mother nature without
being overly concerned about the
weeds that need to be pulled.
> >
> > I'm spending more time doing for family and friends and less
>time doing things that don't count.
> >
> > Life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not to
>endure.
> >
> > I'm taking time to recognize moments that enrich
>and should be cherished.
> >
> > I'm not "saving" much of anything; I use my best stuff to
>celebrate every special event;
> > such as losing a pound, getting something fixed,
> >or seeing some new rose blossoms.
> >
> > I sometimes wear my best clothes to the super market.
>If I look the part
> > I don't have to spend much to impress.
> >
> > I'm not saving my best of anything for special occasions,
> but I enjoy making
> > a lot of routine things into special occasions.
> >
> > "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip.
> > If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing,
>I want to just do it now.
> >
> > I'm wonder what some of my friends would have done had they
>known they wouldn't be
> > here for the tomorrow that we all so lightly take for granted.
> > I think maybe they would have talked more to family
>and friends.
> > They might even have contacted some former friends
>to mend fences.
> > I like to think they would have gone out more for Chinese
> > or for whatever their favorite food was.
> >
> > It's those little things left undone that would make me angry
>if this was my last day. If I knew
> > my hours were limited I would do all sorts of things that
> > I have intended to do "one of these days".
> >
> > I'm trying not to put off, hold back, or save anything that
>might add laughter
> >or luster to the lives of others. And every morning
>when I open my eyes,
> > I tell myself that this day has the potential
>of being very special.
> >Every day, every minute, every second
> > is a gift from God, and I have an obligation not to waste it.
> >
> > Your having received this means there's a good chance that the
>shoe fits.
> >
> > I more than believe in Miracles. I rely on them.
> >
> > Life isn't always the party we hoped for,
>but as long as we're here, lets dance.
> >
> >
> >
More Musings, supplied by friend Pat Smith:

Airline attendants occasionally like to make their in-flight safety announcements a little more entertaining. These are supposed to be real examples of what has been heard:

1 - From a Southwest airplane - "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane".

2 - Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seatbelt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land . . . it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."

3 - After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

3 - As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

5 - After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: Please take care when opening the overhead compartments, because after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.

6 - From Southwest . . . "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 456 to Albany. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.

7 - "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money more than Southwest Airlines."

8 - "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."

9 - "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave your children or spouses."

11 - Part of a pilot's welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry . . . unfortunately, none of them are on this flight."

12 - On a particularly windy and bumpy American Airlines flight ending with an extremely hard landing, the flight attendant came on the PA and announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate."

13 - Another Attendant: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

14 - After hammering his airplane into the runway really hard, the First Officer had to stand at the door, smile, and say: "Thanks for flying with us today." None of the passengers made any remarks until the very last one, who said: "Did we land or were we shot down?"

15 - After a real crusher of a landing, the Flight Attendant came on with: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate, and , once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

16 - A Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here a US Airways."

17 - And a on a Southwest flight one evening: "The Captain will be turning down the lights as we prepare for take-off. This isn't necessary for any safety reasons, but it's been a long day and some of our Flight Attendants don't look quite as lovely as maybe they did this morning."

Wouldn't you love to have this attendant on your next flight? Thanks to a
retired Delta Captain for sending this "paraphrase" of a memorable safety
PA from Alaska Air Flight Attendants.

In his own words.... "I was flying to San Francisco from
Seattle this weekend, and the flight attendant reading the flight safety
information had the whole plane looking at each other like "what the heck?"
(Getting Seattle people to look at each other is an accomplishment.) So
once we got airborne, I took out my laptop and typed up what she said so I
wouldn't forget. I've left out a few parts I'm sure, but this is most of it."

Before takeoff...

Hello and welcome to Alaska Flight 438 to San Francisco.
If you're going to San Francisco, you're in the right place. If you're
not going to San Francisco, you're about to have a really long evening. We'd
like to tell you now about some important safety features of this aircraft.

The most important safety feature we have aboard this plane is ... The
Flight Attendants. Please look at one now.

There are 5 exits aboard this plane: 2 at the front, 2 over the wings,
and one out the plane's rear end. If you're seated in one of the exit rows,
please do not store your bags by your feet. That would be a really bad idea.
Please take a moment and look around and find the nearest exit. Count the rows
of seats between you and the exit. In the event that the need arises to
find one, trust me, you'll be glad you did. We have pretty blinking lights on
the floor that will blink in the direction of the exits. White ones along the
normal rows, and pretty red ones at the exit rows.

In the event of a loss of cabin pressure these baggy things will drop
down over your head. You stick it over your nose and mouth like the
flight attendant is doing now. The bag won't inflate, but there's oxygen there,
I promise. If you are sitting next to a small child, or someone who is
acting like a small child, please do us all a favor and put on your mask
first. If you are traveling with two or more children, please take a moment now to
decide which one is your favorite. Help that one "first", and then work your
way down.

In the seat pocket in front of you is a pamphlet about the safety
features of this plane. I usually use it as a fan when I'm having my
own personal summer. It makes a very good fan. It also has pretty
pictures. Please take it out and play with it now.

Please take a moment now to make sure your seat belts are fastened low
and tight about your waist. To fasten the belt, insert the metal tab into
the buckle. To release, it's a pulley thing -- not a pushy thing like your
car because you're in an airplane. HELLO !!

There is no smoking in the cabin on this flight. There is also no
smoking in the lavatories. If we see smoke coming from the lavatories,
we will assume you are on fire and put you out. This is a free service we
provide.

There are two smoking sections on this flight, one outside each wing
exit. We do have a movie in the smoking sections tonight ... hold on, let me
check what it is ... Oh here it is; the movie tonight is "Gone with the Wind."

In a moment we will be turning off the cabin lights, and it's going to
get really dark, really fast. If you're afraid of the dark, now would be a
good time to reach up and press the yellow button. The yellow button turns on
your reading light. Please don't press the orange button unless you
absolutely have to. The orange button is your seat ejection button.

We're glad to have you with us on board this flight. Thank you for
choosing Alaska Air, and giving us your business and your money. If there's
anything we can do to make you more comfortable, please don't hesitate to ask.

If you all weren't strapped down you would have given me a standing
ovation, wouldn't you?

After landing...

Welcome to the San Francisco International Airport. Sorry about the
bumpy landing. It's not the captain's fault. It's not the co-pilot's fault.
It's the Asphalt.

Please remain seated until the plane is parked at the gate. At no time
in history has a passenger beaten a plane to the gate. So please don't

Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know it until the next morning?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

Q: So then, isn't possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

Q: But isn't it possible that the patient could still have been alive nevertheless?

A: Yes, it's possible. He could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

We live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.   The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

We were at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"   I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged employee of mine, when he asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. He responded, appalled, "What the heck are blind people doing driving?"

A customer of ours told the story of a good-bye lunch for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving the company against his will, due to "downsizing,"   The owner of the company spoke up and said: "This is fun. We should do this more often."     Everything got very quiet as everyone stared into space like a deer caught in the headlights.

We employ an individual who plugs the power strip back into itself and then she complains that the darn computer has crashed again.

A man arrived at our dealership to pick up his new car, and told us that he had accidentally locked the keys in the car he was trading in. He rushed into our service department and borrowed the "burglar" tool we use to get into locked cars with no key.   He worked feverishly to correct his embarrassing mistake and unlock the driver's door. As our salesperson approached from the other side, she instinctively tried the door and discovered it was open.   "Hey, it's open!" She said.    "I know," said the man.- - "I already got that side."

It's all in a day's work.

One out of three practicing physicians graduated in the bottom third of their medical school class.

Two guys walk into a bar, what should YOU do? (Watch out for that bar and don't walk into it like the last two guys did.)

This fish is swimming along minding his own business, when suddenly there is a concrete wall and he hits it - - - "Dam" he says. Should he be told to watch his language?

Boss' Profound Points to Ponder

Take out the fortune, eat the cookie. Don't eat the cookie and then look for the fortune.

The most powerful force you may ever encounter is gossip. The best anecdote is a fake one to give back.

Never comment on a woman's pregnancy (unless you're positive that she IS pregnant).

Organized protests are intended to annoy. Annoy them back by giving them NO eye contact.

A person who is polite to you but rude to someone else should be kept at arm's length.

Real friends support you no matter what. Most "friends" are only friendly acquaintances.

Real difficulties can usually be coped with. Imaginary difficulties can't be overcome.

A single word from or to the right person at the right time can make all the difference.

When something catches your eye, turn on your right turn signal, pull over, hit the brakes, get out of the car. NOW get a better look.

YOU are a uniquely and wonderfully gifted person, who knows what to do to make yourself the happiest. Forget the excuses, "just do it".

Every new idea or discovery has a time, and it will spring into the minds of several people around the world almost simultaneously.

Focus on the instructor, pick up the rhythm, watch them, study them, and soon you'll know what they are going to say before they say it. (STUDENTS! This is how you get top grades and "ace" tests in school!)

A live picture may be worth a thousand words, but an "eye witness" is the worst kind of witness. A remembered sound is 1000 times more accurate than a remembered picture.

Training an employee is a sound investment. Advertising, by contrast, may or may not pay off.

Inventory sold quickly = profit. Inventory sold slowly = loss. Pre-sold inventory = the ultimate.

"Just looking" customers want to buy, but are trying to convince themselves to do it. Step 'way back, and watch for them to look up with a question. Walking away and leaving them alone is an insult.

In any conversation with a customer, steer the conversation to buying, even if that time could be a long way off. Not asking them to buy is an insult.

Add value of some kind wherever you go. Make every location a better place because you were there.

Most people can't handle success. They aren't ready for it and they waste it until it is gone. Expect it. Plan for it. Use it wisely for the rest of your life.

If someone takes a cheap shot at you . . . just make sure it doesn't shoot you down.

A customer's first car was his best one. . . and his present one is far better than the one he is trying to buy from you now.

Where money is involved, honesty, morality, character, and reputation all take a back seat.

Old mistakes and a short attention span dooms you to repeat the mistakes over and over and over.

The unknown future can be exciting, fantastic, promising, and intimidating. Don't screw up your life. NO ONE knows what the future holds for you.

A really good week will probably be followed by one not so good. A really bad week will likely be followed by one that's better.

Growing old can't be avoided, but growing up can be. It takes just as much time to grow older stupid as it does to grow older smart.